


Deprogramme

by RaeWritesFiction



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 14:18:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18662107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeWritesFiction/pseuds/RaeWritesFiction
Summary: Requested.  You're dating James "Bucky" Barnes and have to help him after a mission goes wrong and he is semi-triggered as The Winter Soldier.





	Deprogramme

Bucky paced back and forth in the room, occasionally turning to face you and speak but always closing his mouth and then going back to pacing and muttering in a mix of Russian, English and Romanian.  He huffs and grunts then uses his left arm to punch a hole in the drywall.

The mission had gone well apart from one small issue where Bucky had been triggered, at least partially, into The Winter Soldier.  Steve had done much of the grunt work in bringing him back to his senses; Bucky had immediately asked to be taken to you.

Now this “semi-stable” man was pacing and muttering in confusion and shame while you looked on.  There was no use asking anything right now, you had to wait until he had calmed a little more until then you stayed put so he at least knew where you were and that he wasn't alone.

\---

It took three and a half hours for Bucky to stop pacing and muttering. You'd felt horrible for leaving him when you needed a bathroom break and heard him immediately call your name in a panicked tone; the look of relief on his face when you returned was enough to make you promise never to leave him again.

“I'm sorry…” Bucky mutters softly into the room. “I didn't think… I mean… I've been…” he stops, not able to fully make the sentence.

“I know. It's not your fault James.” You keep your voice quiet and soothing.

“I don't know how they did that to me. After everything… I don't know…” he looks at you then the floor.

“I know. Steve doesn't understand either but they're going to find out…. But you don't have to worry about that.”

“Why…? What if it happens again?” His voice raises a little before he checks himself. “S-Sorry…”

You offer a smile and take a step towards him “They're not going to let that happen sweetheart. Right now, let's just go day by day, yeah?”

He watches you and nods, just a little. “Yeah.” 

“Tell me what you need. What I can do to help you?”  You offer your open arms for him.

It had been many years since Bucky had been triggered; since the words were spoken.  You hadn't been around then but when you had started dating Bucky, Steve had a 'talk’ with you.  Fiercely protective over James he had explained what had happened the last time and then once he could tell you were ready, he had shown you the security tape and talked you through what needed to be done.

“You...I need you.” His eyes don't meet yours, they stay on the floor as he steps towards you and wraps his arms around your waist.  

You'd never known Bucky to be emotional but you could feel him sobbing against you now, his large frame trembling against you.  Slowly, you sink down to the floor and lean yourself back against the simple bed that was bolted to the floor in the relatively barren room.  There was nothing in that room that Bucky could use against himself or someone else; not that it would be needed if he wanted to kill.

Bucky lays himself on his side up your torso, head on your chest where he could hear your heartbeat and steady breathing.  Keeping his voice quiet he closes his eyes, “I was so scared; I could feel myself going… turning into…” He stops and swallows thickly. “All I could feel was that I was ready for instructions… ready to know who to kill.”

You stroke his hair lightly; your touch making him startle a little against you before he relaxes again with a slow breath.  “It's okay James.” You soothe him, stroking his hair and arm while your other arm wrapped around his waist the best you could. For such a bulked up super-soldier, Bucky was surprisingly light against you.

“If Steve hadn't been there…” he starts.

“But he was. He was there and even Mr. Stark helped…”

He lets out a half laugh-huff “Only because he wants to kill me himself..”

“Doesn't matter… he still helped.” You stroke his cheek lightly and feel him nuzzle your fingers then nod a little “he did… yes.”

Pressing a light kiss to Bucky's head you feel him relax almost completely and let out a heavy sigh, his arms fully wrapping around you.

“You wanna lay down on the bed Bucky?” You whisper the question and press another kiss to his forehead.

He smiles and nods “love it when _you_ call me that.”

You preferred to call him James, occasionally Jam as part of an inside joke that would forever make him blush and when you called him Bucky or Buck, he'd melt in your hands and turn into a pile of goo with puppy dog eyes; now was no different.

Leaning up from you carefully, Bucky stretches and rolls his shoulders then his neck. His arm whirrs quietly and seemingly 'winds down’ as he relaxes not just physically but mentally.  

“Let's get you comfy baby..” you offer and kneel behind him with hands resting lightly on his shoulders, still on the floor.

Bucky sighs and nods as he looks down at himself; his clothes were filthy and torn - another jacket ruined, more pants that needed patching. He undoes his jacket and helps you ease it off; leaving it on the floor. Beneath his jacket he wears a sleeveless UnderArmour vest top that also needs repairing and is stained with someone's blood; whether his own you'll never know because of how fast he heals.  

You shift on the floor to face him and go about undoing the laces on his combat boots, loosening them to easily remove the mix of heavy duty leather and reinforced rubber along with his thick socks.  He watches you intently after removing the vest, seemingly lost in this intimate moment; you had undressed each other many times before but something about this, here and now after what he had been through, was different for you both.

Bucky smiles and then offers his left hand, quickly retracting and switching to his right. His metal arm had never bothered you; it wasn't a weapon to you - it was just a different kind of prosthetic.  You smile and reach for his left hand, taking it in yours and bring it to your lips to press a light kiss to the metal.

“I don't wanna risk hurting you.” He says softly.

“I trust you James, I always have and I always will… that includes this…” you motion the metal limb clasped between your hands and slowly stand, leading him to do the same.

With his eyes still not able to meet yours, Bucky walks the few steps to the bed and stops when you turn to face him.  “What is it?” He questions.

“You're not going to be comfy wearing these are you?” You kiss his cheek lightly and trail a hand to his belt, undoing it and following with buttons and zipper.  Bucky lets out a barely audible moan, biting his lip and closing his eyes when your hands push his combats down his legs for him to step out of. “Better…?” You ask.

“...Kind of.” He admits and opens his eyes.

“Only kind of, Mr Barnes?” You step against him. The bulge in his tight boxers hadn't gone unnoticed by either of you; with this situation being new to you, you didn't want to say anything in case he just want to relax in your arms.  The quiet moan however, had made it a little more obvious that relaxing would only happen later.

Bucky nods and looks into your eyes for the first time all day; you weren't sure what you were going to see in his when he finally did. You hadn't expected him to look so longingly for comfort, for acceptance and for forgiveness for something that he couldn't possibly control. But here he was.

Your head tilts and whatever look had been held on your face all day softens completely; “Bucky, come here...” opening your arms for him.  You had half expected him to rush at you, knock you off your feet onto the bed. Instead Bucky had stepped up to you and caressed your cheek softly with his left hand; the metal felt cool against your skin but didn't lack the feeling of being a human touch.  His lips hovered close to yours, barely touching for a few seconds before they pressed against yours fully leading to a slow kiss that left you panting for breath when you finally parted.

“...Wow…” you let out a slow breath.

Bucky smiles and nods “yeah…” his hand moves to the nape of your neck, fingers just threading into your hairline.

“What do you need?” Speaking against his lips between light kisses.

“Just you baby. Just you.” He replies, crawling onto the bed with you and laying you down.

“Do with me what you will..” you reply, a little nervous.

Bucky looks into your eyes and frowns before realisation hits that you're expecting him to fuck you senseless and use your body to his needs. “Oh… baby no. No, not at all.” He keeps his voice quiet and leans down over you, stroking stray hairs back out of your face and peppering your lips with kisses. “I don't wanna hurt you or use you doll…” his light kisses deepen into another slow and passionate kiss; his hips rolling slowly against you.  

Twisting your arms around his neck you relax under him and moan quietly, moving your legs a little to make Bucky more comfortable between them and lifting your hips to meet his until you were both panting against each other's lips and Bucky was pulling at your clothes.

“You're still wearing too much..” Bucky smiles and eases off your tee, throwing it to the floor to join his pile of clothes. “Lay back..” he requests and shuffles himself back down the bed, bringing your shorts and panties with him. “Much better..” he nods, leaning himself down between your legs and pressing light kisses over you.

“...Oh!” You close your eyes and reach for Bucky's hands, clasping them with yours as his kisses turn to flicks of his tongue then switch to slow circles.

“Buck… you don't have...I mean…” you moan and give up trying to speak when his lips close over you and suck in pulses until your legs are shaking while you're simultaneously wanting him to never stop but give you a breather.

Slowly he leans himself up from between your legs and crawls over the bed, dropping kisses over your bare skin as he works his way to your lips and invades your mouth with his tongue so you can taste yourself on him.  Your moans intermingle as you both come up for air and your hands push down his straining boxers until he growls and rips them off impatiently.

Bucky runs his metal hand up your thigh to your hip then slips his arm around your lower back helping position you more comfortably to fit against him as he dips his hips and slowly presses into you until he's fully buried inside you; his eyes lightly close and he drops his head to your shoulder, settling himself for a few seconds.  Your arms drape around his shoulders then fold over his upper back, a hand running into his hair and scratching his head lightly drawing out a quiet moan against your skin.

This time it's you being impatient and rolling your hips under Bucky urging him to move without saying a word to him; he lifts his head and looks into your eyes, his right hand stroking your face and pushing back a few stray hairs.

“James…” you whisper softly against his lips then swallow thickly.

His kisses are light but needy when he starts rolling his hips into you; his left arm supports your back and keeps your body against his, needing the full contact of your skin against his at every moment.   There's no biting, no scratching or pulling - Bucky doesn't mark your body in any way and keeps all his touches feather light, his grip is just enough to move you with him and his hips push deep but without haste and urgency - he's in no rush.  

Your body undulates under his, your hips rising to his movements and tilting themselves into every thrust and roll of his. Hands and arms move; bed sheets crumple and twist around you, pillows end up hanging off the bed as you switch positions and angles.  You lean up and look down at Bucky under you revelling in what your body was doing to his; his head was hanging back over the edge of the bed, eyes closed, jaw slack. There was a slight crease between his eyes every time you rocked your hips down onto him, his jaw would clench and flex when you lifted yourself. His left arm rested lightly, hand on your lower back while his right arm lay bent at his side, hand gripping at the mattress edge.  

Your eyes wander from his swollen lips to his jaw line, taking in the way his throat moves when he moans your name and pleads with you not to stop yet.  The way his chest rises and falls with each rough inhale, his panting speeding up. The cuts and scratches had healed themselves; only light bruises were left around the join between metal and flesh now.  His skin felt hot under your touch, a light sheen of sweat glistened across his torso, his arm, his neck. The messy brown hair was stuck to his face and neck a mix of sweat and some blood from earlier.

Bucky whispers your name and flexes his left hand on your back “Doll… please…” he sucks in a breath through his teeth as your hips speed up and circle on his cock.  Your quiet pants and gasps had long since turned into loud moans of his name and variations of nicknames. Pleading for him to keep moving his hips _just_ _like_ _that_.

Both of your movements become frantic without any rhythm, your bodies twist and arch against each other while your legs wrap around Bucky's waist when he moves you both; your back against the wall behind the bed.  The stone was rough and cold against your skin, a sharp contrast to the man tangled in your embrace panting and grunting against your neck. Bucky's hot breath on your skin, his sweaty torso against yours, his primal grunts filling the room - everything became too much and you stopped holding back. Tugging his hair lightly and tightening around his cock as your body releases and floods you with waves of pleasure radiating from between your legs.  You open your eyes in time to watch Bucky's close, his brow furrow and his jaw drop open. He groans pushing deep suddenly and stills inside you, trembling and calling out incoherent babble.

You both relax after a few moments; guiding Bucky to lean against you fully and lay his head down.  He steadies his breathing and opens his eyes.

“Can we stay like this?” Bucky asks and wiggles his hips a little. “I wanna stay inside you.”

“We can stay like this as long as you like.” Kissing his head softly.

“...Thank you.” He smiles just a little and closes his eyes again, drifting while listening to your heartbeat.

 

\--- fin --- 

  
  
  
  



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